looking for myself

I took your words and believed in everything you said to me--

What a mistake.

I can forgive it, I can't forget it

so, i havent posted in just about forever, :/.

Lately lifes been kinda, ughhhh.
Best friends suck. Well, she's not really my best friend, but she says I'm hers. If I'm her BEST friend, she must treat the rest of her friends like comeplete and utter shit. But I have a feeling she doesn't. It's probably just me. I don't know how much longer I can take it before I snap, but I don't think it's going to be long.

I can't wait for August. I'm soooo outta here it's not even funny. I just wish my move would take my suggestion of moving to California seriously. Although, I'd settle for just out of the Falls, outta WI would be better though.

Another thing, I'm getting sick of seeing the Jonas Brothers everywhere. I mean, I love there music and all, but they are EVERYWHERE!!! Everywhere I look, there they are. But on the upside, they're not bad to look at, lol. ;]

Guess what I just realized? I've had this one song on reapeat for the last hour and a half. Hah, I've been so involved in my thoughts I didn't even notice. Yeah, I'm coollllll. Haha.

I've been sick lately and I'm really hoping for a snowday, I don't think I'm going to be better by tomorrow and I don't want to fall further behind, especially in Chem, because I think Mr. Kellogg hates me because of my sister. Seriously, that's the one teacher that doesn't adore her. He's my favorite for that, lol.


Anyway, I'm tired. G'nite!

:]

why?

Why do I always fall for the wrong guy?

blah, lifes frustrating :/

soooooo....

today was soo fun.
:/

during lunch me, aimee and kierra were standing in line and K brought up the Twilight movie and was like "So when are we going?"
And then A was all "Wait. She's going? Why? I'm sick of her butting into all of my plans"

Me: "Yea, she's coming, I mean she is my friend."

A: "Fine, if she's coming I'm not coming."

Me: "Okay, well I guess you're not coming then."

A: "Fine. I'll go with someone else then."

Seriously? Do you honestly think that because you threaten to not come I'm going to uninvite her? And, well I want her to come. You're being childish. Plus, lately she's been a better friend to me then you have. She doesn't constantly talk over me, or just plain ignore me. She doesn't call me and then have to go because precious Johnny or Chelsea calls. Or has to hang up but promises to call back but then doesn't because Johnny or Chelsea called or came over. And then when you actually do call me, you're constantly talking about them or you and I can't get a world in. And then you're all "Caity, you're my best friend, you're such a good listener." No, I just don't ever get a chance to talk. Do you ever think that I may have something to say? That I may have problems of my own? That for once I just need someone to listen to ME??

Now don't get me wrong, I have NO problem with Johnny or Chelsea, they seem great. We probably wouldn't talk at all if it weren't for you, but that isn't because I have a problem with them. But, lately I do have a problem with you. But I don't want to say anything because no matter what you are my best friend. But if you keep it up, you're going to look back and I'm not going to be there. A person can only take so much before their done. And I don't know how much more I can take. Please, just stop, I don' want to lose you but I'm not going to keep putting myself through this. I deserve better.

Ugh, high school is a blast.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And then came gym.

Today in gym we were playing pickleball. Which is okay, and I''m not terrible at it. So Bridgette and I were playing against Dom and Adam. Dom hit the ball towards me, and I know there was NO chance i was going to hit it, but I swung anyways, because I feel dumb letting it go past me without atleast trying to hit it. Well, that was a mistake. Cause all of a sudden,

POP!

There goes my shoulder. And let me tell you. that was the most painful thing i have ever felt. It hurt so bad that my vision clouded over. And then,

POP! again.

Okay, it's back in place. 2nd most painful thing I've ever felt.

So then I start crying and blubbering like a little baby and go to mr. baker and then go to the health room, where the lady sends me home. Which kinda sucks, because I missed my eighth hour ceramics class, which is my favorite. But my unlce Steve went and got me starbucks because he's amazing like that. So yea, my shoulder's killing me. So writing this right now was probably not the smartest thing to do, lol.

oh, I almost forgot, here's a quote for the day...

"Life; life’s not what you take. It’s not about the promises you make. It’s not about the friends you might have made or the love that is gone. Life is what you give. It’s not about the stupid things you did. It’s not about the way things could have been. It’s about moving on. It’s all about you."

Oh My, It's The Quote(s) Of The Day! 11.12.08

"I like living. I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing."

-Agatha Christie

"I wish there was some way for us to go back and undo the past. But there wasn't. There was nothing we could do. So I just stayed silent and trying to telepathically communicate how sorry I was about what had happened. And I thought of all the grief and sadness and f'ed up suffering in the world, and it made me want to escape. I wished with all my heart that we could just leave this world behind. Rise like two angels in the night and magically... disappear."

-Mysterious Skin

"Can you imagine what it feels like to have someone sit you down and tell you that you're dying? The gravity of that, hmm? Then the clock's ticking for you. In a split second your awe is cracked open. You look at things differently - smell things differently. You savor everything be it a glass of water or a walk in the park. But most people have the luxury of not knowing when that clock's going to go off. And the irony of it is that that keeps them from really living their life. It keeps them not from drinking that glass of water but from ever really tasting it."

- Saw 2

"Childhood is what you spend the rest of your life trying to overcome. That's what momma always says. She says that beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will."

- Hope Floats

YAY!YAY!YAY!

I'M GOING TO THE ALL TIME LOW CONCERT NEXT FRIDAY WITH MY AMAZING FRIEND CHRISTINA!!!!!



YAY!

Oh My, It's The Quote Of The day!

Okay, I missed a bunch of days so I'll going to post a couple.

"This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes. It's a universal truth. But the good part is, you get to decide how you're gonna mess it up."

- Marilyn Monroe

"I used to hate this town. I used to hate every single blade of grass on every hill, but he taught me so much. He taught me that it's not the job of this town to make me feel happy. It's not its fault that I don't fit in. It doesn't matter where you are in the world, because it's about where you are in your head. It's about the other world I inhabit. The world of dreams, hope, imagination, and memories."

- Cecila Ahern, If You Could See Me Now

"A friend of mine said to me: "You have to believe that life is more than the sum of its parts, kiddo." I remember it right down to the "kiddo" part. But when I think about what she said, the same thing always comes into my head: "What if you can't put the pieces together in the first place?"

-United States of Leland

"Think of a car driving through the night. The headlights only go a hundred or two hundred feet forward, and you can make it all the way from California to New York driving through the dark, because all you have to see is the next two hundred feet. And that's how life tends to unfold before us. If we just trust that the next two hundred feet will unfold after that, and the next two hundred feet will unfold after that, your life will keep unfolding. And it will eventually get you to the destination of whatever it is you truly want, because you want it."

- The Secret

so i read this book today...

So today I read Leaving Paradise by Simone Elkeles. It is an AMAZING book and I HIGHLY reccomend it. You will not regret it if you read it.

My favorite part is this:

Maggie: Are you following me?

Caleb: Yes.

Maggie: Why?

Caleb: Because you're where I want to be.


I honestly melted then. I wish a guy would say that to me, hat'd be perfect. But when I read it I kinda felt like an idiot. Because I read that part in study hall and I was sitting there grinning like an idiot. And my friend was like "What the heck Caity? Are you retarded or something?"

It was great. :] haha.


Oh, another thing is, I think Taylor Swift's video with the Shane Gray doll is awesome. I mean I love the Jonas Brothers and Joe, and Taylor, but the video was hilarious. :]

Oh My, It's The Quote Of The day! 10.29.08

"It's been said that the saddest thing a man will ever face is what might have been. But what of the man who's faced with what was? Or what may never be? Or what can no longer be? Choosing the right path is never easy. It's a decision we make with only our hearts to guide us. But sometimes, we find our way to something better. Sometimes we fight through the regret and remorse of our mistakes, our malice and our jealousy, and the shame we feel for not being the people we were meant to be. And that's when we find our way to something better. Or when something better finds its way to us."

-Unknown

Oh My, It's The Quote Of The day! 10.28.08

"If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much."

-Jim Rohn

Oh My, It's The Quote Of The day! 10.27.08

"If you're feeling frightened about what comes next, don't be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don't waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; because you'll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart... where your hope lives. You'll find your way again."

- Gilmore girls

The Years Gone By..

is an amazing band! check them out if you haven't already!

Wanna know what else is amazing? My weekend and today. I'll bet it was better then yours.:]

Well Thursday I found out Gary, Junior and Brandon were in town! YAY! I haven't seen Gary and Junior in like two years and Brandon in like four, since he moved to Ohio. I was soo excited! So then Friday we went and hung out with them at their hotel. And, seriously, if I didn't lnow that it had to be Brandon, I wouldn't have recognized him. But anyways, Casey, Meg, Brandon and me hung out in the pool room, and Brandon threw Casey in the pool a couple times, so he's my new hero.:]

Ha, and, I learned that people from Ohio have accents. It was amazing. I loved it. but anyways.

After we got done their I went to Aimee's for her birthday. And then Saturday we went to see Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. Which I really recommend seeing, because Rafi Gavron is gorgeous. And it was a really great movie. Then I came home and went to get Aimee's birthday gift, since I'm a horrible best friend and hadn't gotten her one sooner. She's going to hit me when she sees it. haha.

Then sunday we went to say goodbye to Gary and Junior, but Brandon had already left. It sucked saying goodbye to them, but it's okay because we're going out there for Thanksgiving or Christmas.

And today, I was home sick. Which sucked. But then it SNOWED!!!! YAY! And it was so cute! This kid my mom watches, Penn, is four and from Texas and has never seen real snow before.It was soo adorable he kept dragging me outside to see it and going on about how today was THE BEST DAY EVER!!!yea, okay, it may not seem too special, but i loved this weekend and today.:]

P.S. Brandon's dad was there, too. But I can't remember his name, and I would feel bad if I kept refering to him as 'Guy Who's Name I Can't Remember' or 'Brandon's Dad'.

sooo...

I'm tired now, but I'll update you on me weekend tomorrow.....


g'nite :]

oh my, it's the quote of the day! 10.25.08

"I was born to be stubborn,to be a little bit bitchy,and to push people to push myself.I was taught never to take life for granted,to live a little, to love with everythingI had to never give up, to believe in myself,but most of all, fight for myself."

-Caity Wood

oh my, it's the quote of the day! 10.24.08

"Don't waste your time regretting all your wrongs. Know that in the end, you'll get what your heart longs. Try not to risk it all; don't stumble; don't fall. Take the time to read the writings on the wall. Hold your head high; don't be afraid to say goodbye. Stay true and be you. Do everything there is to do. Live life to the fullest and never look back - There is a reason for the future and a reason for the past. Love till it hurts; laugh till you cry. And when your life flashes before you die, Be happy for what you've done, Be happy for what you've overcome, And most of all, be proud of what you've become."

-Unkown

It's building up and I'm about to burst...

Do you ever get that feeling, you know that one where you know that if you could just let loose and scream until you're hoarse that everything'll be okay again? Just to give yourself over to the moment. Let the world melt away. And when it's over, you'll be better. Life won't be so overwhelming anymore? Or is it just me?

oh my, it's the quote of the day!

"Everytime you meet someone, make a fucking impression. Make them think you are the hottest shit in the world. Make them think they are going to lose their job if they don't give you one. Look 'em in the eye and never look away. Be confident and calm. Be fucking bold."

- Unknown

sisters, joyyy...

I have a sister. Her name is Megan, she's 17 years old, and she is the biggest bitch in the world.

Seriously, she is perpousfully spiteful, lies to your face, and doesn't even do it well, and uses people constantly.

Ugh, it's getting so hard to live with her. I can't wait for this upcoming August. It's going to be great. My sister will be going off to college, I'll be moving to South Dakota. So, pretty much, I won't have to see her except on winter and summer break and even then I doubt I'll see her much. Because when we go to pick her up, I'll be staying behind to hang out with my friends. I am seriously couting down the days...

And to the part about her using people. She does it all the time. For example, there's this guy, Zak, that we've known for years. And they've dated. Many times. He's hung up on her and she knows that so whenever she doesn't have a boyfriend or a date or something, she calls up trusty 'ole Zak. Like this past homecoming. She didn't have a date so she called him up. And he said yes, and they talked like everyday for a couple weeks before the dance. But since the dance I think she's talked to him maybe twice. And with him it's especially frustrating because he is this amazing, funny, awesome guy, and he deserves a hell of a lot better than this. And ne of the reasons Meg's not talking to him anymore is because he got too clingy. Well duh. If you're going to hang all over him and like sit in his lap on the couch and call yourself his girlfriend, he's going to think you're dating. I mean, come on, use your brain occasionally. :/


ughhh, well, I don't know what you think of this. You may think I'm a bitch for saying al of this, but really, this is my outlet, and I need to get it out or I'm going to explode, don't like it? No ones making you read...